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Young Carers, Children and Families
Serious illness, disability, frailty, mental ill health or addiction can affect the whole family. Children and young people may be helping with care, or they may be affected by changes at home even if they are not providing practical care themselves.
Some children and young people are young carers. Others may need support because someone close to them is seriously ill, approaching the end of life, or has died.
Children often know when something serious is happening, even when adults try to protect them from it. Clear, gentle and honest explanations can help them make sense of what is going on.
The sections below explain how serious illness and caring responsibilities can affect children, young people and families. This includes young carers, children who are affected by illness in the family, and families caring for a seriously ill child.
Children and young people do not need every detail all at once, but clear, honest information and the right support can help them feel less alone.
Who is a Young Carer?
A young carer is a child or young person who helps to look after someone. This might be a parent, brother, sister, relative or family friend.
The person they care for may have an illness, disability, mental health condition, addiction, frailty or another care need. They may live in the same house as the young carer, or somewhere else.
Some young carers help with practical tasks such as cooking, housework, shopping or medication reminders. Others provide emotional support, help with brothers or sisters, or keep an eye on someone who may need help. Some young carers do not describe themselves as carers. They may simply see it as helping their family.
When Caring Feels Too Much
Caring can be rewarding, but young carers also have the right to be looked after. No child or young person should have to manage adult responsibilities alone.
A young person may need support if they are often tired or worried, missing school or college, struggling with homework, becoming isolated, helping with personal care, or feeling responsible for keeping someone safe.
It can help to talk to an adult they trust. This might be a parent, relative, teacher, school nurse, GP, youth worker or young carers service. Getting support does not mean the young person has done anything wrong. It means the family should not have to manage alone.
Talking to School
If a child or young person is affected by caring responsibilities or serious illness at home, it can help to tell their school or college.
School routines can provide stability when family life is disrupted. Staff may also be able to offer practical and emotional support, such as someone trusted to talk to, flexibility with homework, support around exams, help with attendance, or referral to a young carers service.
Children and young people may bring worries from home into school. Letting school know what is happening can make it easier for staff to understand and respond.
Serious Illness in the Family
When someone in the family has a serious illness, everyone is affected. Adults often want to protect children from difficult information. That instinct is understandable, but children may already know that something serious is happening.
It can help to use simple language, explain a little at a time, answer questions honestly, keep routines where possible, and explain changes before they happen where you can. Children may need reassurance about who is looking after them, what is not their fault, and what is not their responsibility.
Talking to children about illness can be like helping them complete a jigsaw puzzle. They do not need every piece of information at once, but honest information, given at the right pace, can make the picture clearer and less frightening.
Caring for a Child
Sometimes the person who needs care is a child or young adult. This can feel completely overwhelming for parents, siblings and the wider family.
Support may be available for both the child and the people caring for them. This might include children’s social care, children’s community nursing, hospice support, emotional support, family support, practical advice, training, sibling support and bereavement support.
The aim is to help the child or young person have the best quality of life possible, while also supporting the family and carers around them.
That makes the shift clearer. The page is no longer only about children as carers. It is about children, young people and family life where serious illness or caring responsibilities are involved.
When Someone May Die
If someone in the family is dying, children and teenagers may need support before and after the death.
Children may ask direct questions about death. It is normal for them to do this. Honest, age-appropriate answers can help them prepare for what is happening and feel less alone.
It can help to think about what they already know, what they have noticed, whether they want to visit the person, who they trust and can talk to, what school or college needs to know, and what support may be needed after the death.
Most families can support children through serious illness and grief with honest conversations, stable routines and trusted adults around them. Extra help may be needed if changes in a child's behaviour persist, get worse, or become worrying over time.
Useful Resources
You may find it helpful to speak to a trusted adult, school, college, GP, social care team or young carers service if a child or young person is affected by caring responsibilities, serious illness or bereavement.
Useful sources of information include:
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LOROS supporting children when someone in the family has a serious illness
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Winston's Wish - Bereavement support for children, young people and families.
Link: https://www.winstonswish.org/ -
Plan If - to help parents think about practical and emotional planning in case they die while their children are still young.
Diana Children's Community Service -
Leicester City Council children's social care
Leicestershire County Council social care and supporting families -
Children's social care and family support information for Leicestershire
Important note
Children and young people should not have to manage adult responsibilities alone. If caring is affecting their health, education, friendships or wellbeing, seek support from school, social care, a GP or a young carers service.